Few funny quotes

1. "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
   
   
   
2. "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
   
   
   
3. "I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
   
   
   
4. "I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
   
   
   
5. People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
   
   
   
6. "Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?" Hobbes.
   
   
   
7. "Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
   
   
   
8. "Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
   
   
   
9. "You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
   
   
   
10. "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."
    
    
    
11. "He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants."